Ask Angelo

Angelo Pezzote
M.A., N.C.C., L.M.H.C.
 Brokeback Mountain And Homophobia
 plus Should I Risk Getting Burned?

Dear Angelo,

I come from a very small country in the Mediterranean Sea. As you can imagine, the mentality here is very narrow. I met this guy - Bang! - Fireworks! Close friends of mine told me to be careful. But I will never know unless I try. Everyone deserves a chance, but is it too risky to try?

Signed, One More Try

Dear One More Try,

It is not too risky to try. In fact, you must try. It is better to know it won't work than to always wonder if it would have.

After we've been very hurt in past, many of us can put ourselves in a fortress. This is fine for self-protection. But the struggle is to build our wallshigh enough to protect us from more hurt, yet still low enough to allow others to come over them. If we don't get the height right, we will remain safe, but alone, in our self-constructed prison. It is strange that we fear love, but nevertheless it remains true. When we open our hearts, we are at our most vulnerable.

My advice is to put your best thinking together with your best feeling and go for it!

Dear Angelo,

Is it wrong to be gay?

Signed,Questioning Metrosexual

DearQuestioning Metrosexual,

No it isn't wrong to be gay. What's wrong is the social stigma gay men face. That sick stigma is how a gay man is seenas beingless thana realman - a sissy. The powerful movie Brokeback Mountain brings that stigma into the light.

Brokeback Mountain is a love story and a story about manhood. What keeps the gay lovers apart is the fear of what other men will do to them if they find out - not short of killing them. If you think this is out of America's rural past think again.Hate crimes, including murder, still happen today - even in our cities.

All our lives we are taught that real men aren't gay. But by contrasting American culture's most celebrated man's man - two Marlboro Men - with a gay love story - the brilliant movie makes us question the very foundation of our concept of manhood. That's what makes it uncomfortable for many. It dares us to deny these men their love or their manliness.

Yes, if it weren't for the consequences of the social stigma of coming out,that is, being seen as not all man -what the men are confronted within the movie - nothing wouldbe wrong at all.


Angelo Pezzote, M.A., N.C.C., L.M.H.C.

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Angelo Pezzote, M.A., N.C.C., L.M.H.C., All Rights Reserved

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